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Bittersweet Comeback

Hey all! I’ve been busy since I got back to school 10th of August. Seven work days and one weekend later I realized that growing up from a freshman to a sophomore isn’t going to be painless. As I had the first lesson of every course I had in this period (only five of them) my face just went from :D to O_O.

Not having any close friend on my courses, hardly seeing them on breaks and lunch I felt so alone and numb. I was moody for several days. I also heard some unexpected news at a wrong time. I overreacted and started hysterically crying at school. One of the worst days ever.

My ♥ tried to cheer me up as well as he could (he is super good at it) and I felt glad he was there but still so sad because of the situation. I am so happy I have him though, without him I would be so down. After sweet words and many days I started to feel a little better thanks to him. My mood still keeps tricking me though.

I feel like I have been at school for two months, not one week. I try not to get to a stage of depression as I gasp air when I look at all what I have to do. Which guides me to the bottom of this issue: Why are the students in high school so depressed and tired in Finland?

When I try to talk about this to my friends abroad they swear their schools are way tougher than ours: “You live in Finland. That can’t be true. Your country is one of the richest in the world and best school system too.” Yes, our comprehensive school is the best. Not high school.

My friends at the same school do understand. They get straight tens (best grade) at school but whine everyday about being depressed and tired. Well not all of them (like me) get the best grades but try to hang on a very strict schedule which don’t allow you to be sick at all. If you are sick for one or two days you will already be behind and catching up is hard. (I learnt this last year on my first period.)

Not that I have any experience of schools outside Finland I feel that our high school (lukio in Finnish) is the toughest without a doubt. Even our teachers say so.

Some basic Facts of Finnish Upper secondary school:

  • lasts three to four years
  • in order to graduate you have to pass 75 courses, 47 or 51 compulsory courses depending the difficulty of the Maths you choose
  • there will be nationally graded matriculation examination (at least in four subjects)
  • More info in Wikipedia

I will be having a huge exam on six subjects Finnish (compulsory), English (compulsory), German, Swedish (compulsory), Maths (compulsory) and history = a crazy amount of work and pushing.

After this pain is over we have to work our ass off to get to university and read to the entrance exams which are hard too because our grades in high schools mean almost nothing. Only our matriculation examinations have a little say which means we basically fought for nothing (we are only just wiser I guess).

After 3 years of pushing and long days… we have no free time and even though you try to take it all relaxed you realize how tired you are. Really? Is this really necessary? Even though I try to understand the minds of people who came up with this program I really think they have messed up and real bad.

Too many gives up and stop going to school just because they’re tired and depressed. All they would want is to have some more human education and not expect them to work like robots in a factory. If you ask me why I am criticizing Finnish school so hard I would reply “because there is too much lost potential out there”. I believe that so so many people who choose to go to lukio try hard to achieve their goals and that one fail can cause so much trouble to you that you almost give up hope.

All those I still have something positive to share: You can make it. Just try your best and when it feels like it is going down don’t worry about it just try to be strong and seek for help. Don’t stay at home and let yourself fade away. When I feel like not getting up from bed I think about all the good things in my life: my ♥, family and friends.

The life of an upper secondary student is all not dancing with roses but I believe we can learn many things out of this. In life you can learn from everything… We have to take time to explore and realize what is wrong in ourselves before it gets worse.

Hold on
Be strong
It’s gonna be a long night
Keep your head up
Trust me I know
Tomorrow is going to be another day

Love you honey. Without you I would not have made it. Happier than ever. :) <3

HmusicK

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