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Eivätkö ne halua ymmärtää

Meidän luokalla ei kukaan halua ymmärtää. Me eroamme osa katkerina, osa iloisina, osa pirstaleina ja osa vihaisina. Me eroamme, koska me aloitamme uuden elämän uudessa maailmassa, jonka pitäisi olla parempi. Parempi, uskovatko kaikki siihen? Vaikeaa se on jos lähti luokalta pirstaleina, katkerina tai vihaisina. Kaikkien tie meidän luokalla ei ollut huono, mutta joidenkin oli.  Sielu on kaunis sana, mutta onko se oikealla paikalla vai onko se toiselta puolelta musta ja toiselta valkoinen. Valkoinenkin on mustavalkoinen. Kenelläkään se ei ole valkoinen eikä kokomustaa ole, mutta joku omaa sellaisen jonka valkoinen ei näy. Jos tuo valkoinen näkyisi paremmin olisi meillä parempi maailma.

Minä kuulun ryhmään joka eroaa sydän pirstaleina. Sitä ei voi mikään taika voi korjata, anteeksi pitäisi antaa. Kukaan ei kysy voiko. Me puhumme pahoja sanoja ja jätämme yksin. Mutta jos tuntuu että on se joka jätetään yksin? Olenko itse syyllinen, jos kauan sitten kaikki meni väärin. Joku sanoo että on valhe jos saa traumoja omista tekemisistään ja pistää ne toisen syyksi. Miksi on katkera jonkun ihmisen poistumisesta vaikka ihminen on paha ja ei erityisen läheinen.

Minun pitäisi antaa anteeksi, mutta en voi, vielä. Kukaan ei puutu mihinkään vaikka siitä kertoisi. Anteeksiannossa ja -pyynnössä ei ole oikeita tunteita mukana. Miksi koko luokka vihaa yhden takia yhtä ja jättää tämän? Siihen ei kukaan puutu vaikka siitä puhutaan. Kukaan ei kysy miltä minusta tuntuu. Hän sanoo että minä olen syy kaikkeen. Se on epäsuora tapa. Opettajat ehkä puhuvat asiaa mutta ei tiedä miltä tuntuu olla yksin. Eivät sanomiset auta. Kenelläkään ei ole aikaa perehtyä asioihin.

Kysymykset ovat vaikeita, mutta jos ne sattuvat kohdalle on vaikeaa. Tunteet minulla ovat katkeria ja sydän on pirstaleina vaikka se ei näy. Sanat satuttavat ja jäävät loppuelämäksi mieleen. Mutta jos tapaan heidät uudelleen joskus haluaisin nähdä ovatko he muuttuneet.

Uudessa maailmassa on mahdollisuus, mutta se ei paikkaa sydämen kulmaa ja menneisyyttä. Tekstissä ehkä kuvastuu katkeruus mutta sitä tunnen.

Toivottavasti tämä auttaa ymmärtämään minua. Jotkut meidän luokalla ovat hiljaisia hyväksyjiä, useimmat. Puolustajaa ei ole. Jotkut elävät toisessa maailmassa kun oikeassa tapahtuu pahaa jota he näkevät. Tällainen on esim. sielu sanan ahkera käyttäjä pieni muusikon alku. Hän ei tosin ole parhaita ystäviäni niin kuin eivät muutkaan. Ehkä uudessa maailmassa menee paremmin.

Hanna-Kaisa 27. huhtikuuta 2007

Tässä on itse kirjoittamani novellin tapainen kertomus tunteistani vaikeista ajoista joita kohtasin menneisyydessäni alkuperäisessä asussaan. Osasin kirjoittaa niin kauniisti silloin… I had to grow up so fast. Tee itse tulkintasi aukkoihin. A story of being bullied. Voisin oikeastaan lukea tämän ääneen kun tapaan heidät taas… jos tapaan.


Unforgettable

Wow. Hi. It has been FOREVER. As if you didn’t already know that? I like to write good quality posts and not just some random doodles so maybe that’s why I haven’t been able to write in a long time. In a way writing blog posts isn’t that stressful, but finding time and inspiration are the ones that have been missing in my life. I just have too much school work and writing sometimes reminds me of that. Anyway, I wouldn’t say I’m back, even though maybe some of you are like yay! she’s here or well maybe not. :D But at least I’m writing some.

Some new design in my room :)

Other one :)

Lately, there have been like so many changes in my life. And many of them are not because of me. I mean mostly it’s about people coming and going. People change and you find new sides of them and no matter how long you’ve known them you’ll always find something more that either puts you off or on. When you have known one person for a long time and you trust them, the change can really shock you. I’m starting to learn that in the hard way.

I bounce back and forth with my emotions trying to figure out what I want to do with those people. Some of them make their decisions by themselves and leave me an easy choice. I struggle with those who claim they want to stay in my life yet they’ve changed or become strangers. Do I want to have them in my life? Will they ever understand me and my point of view? Is it over? Will I be able to forgive what they did?

You know sometimes IT IS NOT MY FAULT. SERIOUSLY. I mean there are things I have little influence on and I can’t decide what happens, yet people tend to blame it on me if I accuse them of something. People say things always have two sides, but I think it is not always true.

An example: loyalty, your best friend is keeping contact with a guy or girl who hurt you really bad (so bad that you can’t be friends anymore) and who she/he has known for a lot less time than you. They’re like so happy together and you just watch close. Doesn’t that make you like: Huh??! And then when you confront her/him that “hey, I don’t like you talking to him/her, I hope you would understand that it hurts me that you’re not on my side and you seem to accept what he/she did to me”, they blame it on you saying: “why do you want to break our friendship? It is your fault that we are in this mess, because you started this fight.”

I just don’t accept it! It is just unforgettable (I don’t know about unforgivable though). Someone, who is supposed to be like a family member to you, refuses to be on your side? I don’t know maybe it should end right there, because loyalty and trust are too important. I’m not perfect, but what the hell have I done wrong in that? Just trying to get people to understand, that’s all.

In other related news

I’m on the 3rd grade! Yay! :D High school is soon over :o time goes so fast.

Voisin olla kuin muut
Punastuu kun sä tuut
Nuolla sun viskaamat luut
Mut se ei kiinnosta mua
Sä olet vain katse jota mä hain
Nyt mä meen

HmusicK

PS. I’m so in love with Pistepiste’s music! :D He’s a great new artist!!

Kun sä et oo mun nainen <3


Almost In Finnish

So this could be my first post almost entirely in Finnish. When it’s impossible to describe… My mother tongue is there to help.

On our way to Copenhagen

Paola haastoi mut (heti tuntuu oudolta kirjottaa suomeksi) vastaamaan kysymyksiinsä blogissaan ja koska en oo koskaan ennen tehny tämmösiä nii päätin et kerranki voisin olla vuorovaikutuksessa muidenkin bloggareiden kanssa. :D Eli siis Paulan blogi: Omaa etsimässä ja linkki kysymyksiin.

1. Milloin olet viimeksi ollut lavatansseissa?
Jos nää tarkottaa niinku sellasia “nuorisobileitä” tai bileitä ni viimeks olin Klaukkalassa poikaystävän kaverin synttäreillä noin kolme viikkoa sitten. Vieraat ei ollu ihan nuoria kylläkään, vanhempia ku minä kaikki. Siis no ehk mun poikaystävä oli nuori, koska nuorensin sitä? :D Ja musa oli kuin lavatansseissa ja ehkä iästä johtuen en tuntenu biisejä yhtään. En tykänny. Musasta siis siellä.

2. Mikä on lempparisi Disneyn leffoista?
Kääk! tää o vaikee. Oon kattonu Disneyn leffoja paljon, mutta en muista nyt kauheesti niistä mitää. Siitä on aikaa, kun olen viimeks katsellut. Mutta mun pitkäaikasin suosikkini on Maija Poppanen, vaikka en olekkaan isompana sitä katsellut. Lapsena olen katsonut sen yli 10 kertaa.

3. Millainen kirja olisit?
Tarkotakko sisältöö vai ulkonäköö? Olen tositarina kiusaamisesta, ja kirjassa on sellanen blondi tyttö just niin kuin mä. Kirja loppuu siihen kun se kävelee maantien vartta eteenpäin ja ajattelee sitä kuinka kesä on kaunis.

4. Jos saisit vieraan ulkomailta, mihin veisit hänet asuinpaikkakunnallasi?
Mun takapihalle kesällä. Vaikka en siellä usein olekaan.

5. Mitä ruokaa osaat tehdä parhaiten?
Tortilloja ja jauhelihakastiketta :D <3

6. Koska olet viimeksi puhaltanut saippuakuplia?
Ehkä ykkösellä lukiossa ku mun kaveri oli hulluna niihin :D

7. Entä milloin viimeksi kiipesit puuhun?
Vaikea… Kööpenhaminassa Toukokuun alussa, mutta se oli valekiipeäminen. :)

8. Ensimmäinen laulu, joka tulee mieleesi ala-asteen musiikkitunneilta?
On laiva valmiina lähtöön – 6-luokalta päästessäni alemmat luokat lauloivat tätä meille hyvästiksi, kun seisoimme edessä kevätjuhlassa. Silloin valehtelin itselleni, että olin liikuttunut.

9. Kuka oli lempi-Spaissarisi?
Spice Girls? Ööö. :D En tiedä. Vai tarkotatko kappaletta kenties? Sit se on 2 become 1.

10. Kumpi kuuluu sinun sanavarastoosi, vihta vai vasta? (vai joku muu?)
Jännää en ole tätä miettinyt. Sanoisin että vihta.

11. Rukoiletko mieluummin yksin vai yhdessä?
Yksin, koska en uskalla avata suutani yhteisrukouksissa.

So now in English! Summer has come and my last exam was today!!! I’m free (almost)! And now I may have time to blog! I was in Copenhagen and I have few pics from there.

The Little Mermaid

Niin etelä ja pohjoinen kaikki meitä varten on

HmusicK


Kauneimpani / My Beautiful / Meine Schönste

Pelko, silti kaunis
Kun sydän pakahtuu
Kuuntelen kauniita lauluja
Ne kertovat kaikista, sinusta ja niistä, jotka kulkivat ristiin rastiin kanssani
Toiset eivät enää voineet kulkea, koska se sattui
Toiset linnuiksi muuttuivat
Toiset hiipuivat matkalla

Ja mä en halua tietää
ensimmäinen eksä joka ei halua takasin
ensimmäinen joka aikoo selvitä
sillä mä en ole valmis olemaan heikko
en ole valmis olemaan se, joka jää rannalle
minä en ole

kun menneisyys, jonkun muun tai oma
when the past hunts you down when it feels like you’re on the ground painat pään
not the first not the last perhaps still so close
ich bin die erste und die letzte alle gleichzeitig
trotzdem liebe ich dich
älskar du mig?
Ich werde die eine einzig sein
heute und morgen
in the past and in the future
kai sä kuulet kun huudan
wenn ich alles für dich verlasse
für dich allein

damn damn damn what I would do to have you here near

ich lebe, weil du mein Atem bist
bin müde, wenn du das Kissen bist,
bin durstig, wenn du mein Wasser bist
du bist für mich mein 2. Ich
ich lebe (Ich Lebe – Christina Stürmer)

This is the way you left me
I’m not pretending
No Hope No Love No Glory No happy ending
This is the way that we love,
Like it’s forever.
Then live the rest of our live, but not together.

Mä niin kauniina meen, katso, kun loitsin, mä teen
Meille hiiden ja veen, ja aamun uupuneen
Oi, jos se ois niin, hukkuisin huokauksiin
Valvoisin lakanat ryttyyn, saisin kaikesta kii – Erin<3

Little inspiration. This is a very very random post. But I don’t know what got in to me, but the main thing is that I finally blogged. :D BTW my shirt is the same color as my blog. :P

‎’Cause baby, you’re a firework ♥
Come on, show ‘em what you’re worth
Make ‘em go, oh
As you shoot across the sky

HmusicK

Rakastan sinua


The Good And The Bad Combined

Olet kuin kaunis tähti taivaalla
Sanat eivät riitä ikinä kuvaamaan
Nukut rauhallisesti
Ei ole enää rajoitteita, kipuja
Siirtynyt
Kaipaus silti jäi, en voi sulkee syliin, itkeä vain onnen kyyneleitä

You are like a beautiful star on the sky
Words are never enough to describe
You sleep peacefully
There are no more limitations, pains
Moved
Missing is still left, can’t hold you in my arms, only cry happy tears

My dear friend Ayodeji Olatubosun (who I have even blogged about) died on Monday 27th of February 2012 at the age of 34. I lost a brother, a true friend and a mentor, but I’m sure he’s rejoicing now in heaven. I miss him dearly and it is so sad to see him go. It’s been a month now. Even though no one can replace him in my heart and it’s heavy on my heart, I know he wants me to carry on and continue his legacy here on this earth. To see how God worked trough him was amazing and I’ll never forget him. I love you. Words fail me… You know my heart. Out there.

Precious in the sight of LORD is the death of His saints. Psalm 116:15

Dear readers, so many things have happened in these past two months and I’m not going to tell you about them now. Maybe I’ll let some pictures do the talking for me and I’m fine. Just very busy with school. So busy that writing has been so much less.

Wanhojen tanssit 2012

Finnish tradition where the oldest students in the second grade (while third graders head for their final exams) in high school have a pram. (Which reminds me that Ayo was there in my pram.)

Muistoja/Memories

Tää oli ekalta reissulta Hesaan, jolloin tapasin tulevan/nykyisen rakkaani<3

Rakas karvainen Mauku<3

Sä alat vihdoin viimein käsittää ettet sä tarvii lupaa keneltäkään
Oot liian kaunis häpeemään etkä voi yhtään mitään menettää
Joten anna mennä joten anna mennä
Kaunis rietas onnellinen

You start to finally realize that you don’t need a permission from anyone
You are too beautiful to be ashamed and you can’t loose anything
So let go so let go
Beautiful Wild Happy

Kulta, inspiroit mua jatkamaan jo alkanutta matkaa. Kiitos ku oot auttanu mun vaikeiden aikojen yli. Oot ihana <3

HmusicK


Music Videos Make The World Go Round

In this post I wanted to share some music videos that I like a lot. Some of the songs and videos are very touching.

DeStorm – Finally Free ft. Talib Kweli

Love it when he sings and then changes to rapping. He can do both really well! :)

Keep trying to get me (keep trying to get me)
But I’m gonna be bold (I’m gonna be bold)
Even when (even when)
I’m tired and alone (I’m tired and alone)
Can somebody help me (can somebody help me)
I’m down on my knees (I’m down on my knees)
And once I get up (once I get up)
I’m finally free

This is one of the songs I really love and this video’s great also.

Legit ft. Arielle Kresich – A Nigger in Northface

This is a real song. A lot different from the usual songs you hear. This video is also so so sad. This video has taken the issue into another level to make an impact. Very beautiful song. Very touching and deep. This rapper and the singer are totally underrated.

Here are the lyrics.

Aduke – Hear The Voice

Aduke made this song around the rise of people in Nigeria to protest against things that are generally messed up in Nigeria. (Mostly they were angry with the fuel subsidy removal and nothing changed.) Love Naija.

Ego – Fall in Love

Every time I’m with you (I’m in love)
Boy I really want you to (show me love)
Tell me what can I do (to be loved)
Don’t be such a heartbreaker can’t we…..fall in love

Gateway Worship – You Are Good

I love this song. One of the greatest praising songs ever. Jesus is the King.

your kindness leads me to repentance
your goodness draws me to my knees
your mercy calls me to be like you
your favor is my delight

you are good, you are good, you are good
and your mercy is forever
you are good, you are good, you are good
and your mercy is forever

Exam week going on and I’ve been just so sleepy all the time. I got my birthday party dress today and I love it. I might be posting pictures of me in the dresses more here. I’t just that it’s really cold here right now so normally I can’t even wear them. Next night we might even have -27 C :S that’s crazy.

I’m going to Helsinki on Friday after an exam week and it’ll be awesome. ♥

Emotional blackout.

HmusicK


My Heart Goes Out

My heart goes out to the ones who lost their lives in Nigeria bombings. Fear should not catch us. God Bless Nigeria. And I’m part of this.

How can they say that we are finished
We have just begun

We are the future
We are the dream
We are the nation
We are part of this

The future is here
The future is here
Goodbye yesterday

I am the future
I am the dream
I am the nation
I am part of this

Yes I am so amazing
That’s the least l shall be
At the heart of the nation changing history

So get out of the way
Out of the way Of the land of our dreams
We are the nation we are part of this
(Some of the Lyrics)

Tears are running
I don’t know where I’m going
Maybe I’ll reach somewhere
It’s like the edge is around there

since the words are not enough
to express how I feel
I have no choice
walking
Need my time to think of this
one love, one choice…

my heart was overjoyed when you came into my life
love can be my friend, my sweetest lover but also my greatest enemy
that’s how I see it
my heart desires you into my life
my sense says otherwise
that’s how I’m mixed

torn apart between what I want and need
in the end the choice is easy
just how I’m going to take this load
when my choice in the end means it’ll torn me upside down inside out
when the sweetness would come late so late

Words by HmusicK

10 Random Things That I love or Make Me Happy or Are Sweet

Do I need to explain this...

A great point

<3

I can't always text back immediately so I can't expect this all the time, but still it is great

I typically loose things a lot

This is what usually makes me really happy

The pictures are from JustLittleThings.net.

I’ve been extra busy with school and I haven’t had time to write, but I’m doing pretty fine. I will have my pram and birthday in next month and I can’t wait. I will have a birthday party and its theme is my favorite color purple. :)

I Just Want To Have You Here Because I Know You’re My Life

Love, HmusicK


It’s New Year, New York!

Happy New Year 2012! Onnellista uutta vuotta 2012! Hope it’s a blessed one.  

You must be wondering what the ‘New York’ is doing in the title, well I really love the song “Empire State of Mind” by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys and it is a good song and it’s somehow related to New Year. :)

Yeah, I know I’m a little bit late, but better late than never. =) My holiday has been great so far, just pretty fast and tomorrow I will be going to Helsinki for a sleepover to see a friend who I met HERE. I got new hearing aids today. The old ones were about 5 years old. (If you want to read about them you can do it here.) Yesterday I was in the movies with a friend and we watched The Darkest Hour in 3D (3D is awesome). The Darkest Hour was nice action movie, not so scary but cool.

I have been shopping a little *gröhm*  from the sales and got these awesome shoes:

Love them

I bought this from a shop called Skopunkten in Koskikeskus. I also got some great jeans and lovely dresses. Maybe someday I will post pictures of me when I’m wearing them. :)

Learned that I will be okay
That somehow I will make it trough the day
And the only battle I really have to win
Is me, myself and I
Selfish me
My biggest enemy is me myself
I am stronger than me, myself and I

by HmusicK

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

It will be an amazing year and I’m looking forward to this year. Very important year. Hope to blog soon again! :)

HmusicK

PS. Thank you Jesus for another year. God Bless Finland and Nigeria.


Merry Christmas 2011!

Merry Christmas! 

How time flies. It has been an incredible, but very tiring year and now there is finally some time to breathe and relax, at least for a while.

This Christmas was a little different for us, because we had one friend over for Christmas Eve. Usually we spend it just with the family only. In Finland Xmas Eve is more important and that is when the gifts will be given for example.

Movies I got for Christmas presents were Mary Poppins, Jos rakastat (If You Love) and Kung Fu Panda 1 & 2.

When I was little I used to watch Mary Poppins a lot. I thought it was an awesome movie.

Jos rakastat is a Finnish movie and it is like a musical and the guy is Finnish-Nigerian. I think that movie is pretty good and different and I plan to watch it together with friends.

And Kung Fu Panda was a surprise. :) Not really fan of animations but I think I will watch them. Actually I watched Toy Story 3 a while back and it was AMAZING I just cried all trough when I was watching it.

Yesterday there was some crazy day in Nigeria. There were at least four bomb crashes attacking Christmas churches. Islamic Boko Haram movement is behind these attacks and they want strict Sharia law to Nigeria. So far Christians are not replying by force, but issues are not properly addressed, which can lead to devastating consequences. Last year there was only one bomb but this year it has gone worse. We just hope and pray that the situation does not get worse. I worry for my loved ones in Nigeria. We just hope that a war won’t start out of this because it is possible.

In other related news Happy Boxing Day! Hope you got great gifts as well and had a great time on Christmas with friends and family.

I can’t spend another christmas without my baby
I can’t take another christmas cuz girl you’re my lady
I can’t spend another christmas without my baby
You know what, and baby I’m coming home, and baby I’m coming home
So baby I’m coming home, so baby just me and you

HmusicK

PS. Kisses and hugs to ♥ and others! :D


“Half of a Yellow Sun” – A Classic of The 21st Century

I read a wonderful book called “Half of A Yellow Sun” by a Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie for my English course. Reading it was a great experience in the mist of school books and no time. I got also a good grade of the essays I wrote in our English exam about the books. I wrote three essays in the exam (you can imagine how we had to hurry).

“Half of a Yellow Sun” is based on the three-year Biafran war in Nigeria in the 1960s. The story has been written from the point of view of three persons (the narrator changes in every chapter) Olanna, Richard and Ugwu. Olanna is a young woman, who abandons her life of privilege to live with her lover, the professor Odenigbo. Ugwu is a houseboy from a poor village, who works for the professor. The third one, Richard is a white Englishman, who is desperately in love with Olanna’s twin sister. When the horrifying war starts, will their lives change forever in ways that they never expected…

Biafra: a secessionist state in the south-eastern part of Nigeria that existed from May 1967 to January 1970. Its inhabitants were mostly Igbo people (an ethnic group) who led the secession due to economic, ethnic, cultural and religious tensions among the various peoples of Nigeria. The creation of the new country was one of the complex causes for the Nigerian Civil War, also known as the Nigerian-Biafran War. After two-and-a-half years of war, during which a million civilians had died in fighting and from famine, Biafran forces agreed to a ceasefire with the Nigerian Federal Military Government (FMG), and Biafra was reintegrated into Nigeria.

One essay of the three (154 words): “Half of a Yellow Sun” wasn’t my first book, I’ve read in English, but it certainly was the thickest with its 433 pages. Reading books in English is like reading any book, because English could almost be my second mother tongue. Still, reading in a foreign language is always useful and it broadens your vocabulary. You can’t learn a language unless you constantly develop it by speaking , hearing, and listening to it.

I’m very happy for having read this book, because I’m interested in the country which this book is based on. The book gave me a whole new perspective of Nigeria’s history. I also think that the book was a masterpiece and the press seems to agree with me.

Hopefully, when I have time to read, I’ll start reading more books in English and especially novels based on true events. This experience definitely encourages me to widen my selection of books in the future.

To Conclude:

“Half of a Yellow Sun” is a genius book. I’m not afraid to praise it as a Classic of the 21st century. Adichie truly can create wonders with the simplicity of English words. The feelings of the protagonists and events are carefully explained with a passion. The horrors of the war cause cold ripples to our spine. In this book also a order matters. The book has been divided to three parts, and it’s very important to read them in an order (like you wouldn’t :p). That gives a great feeling to the book.

This book is also based on real life events, so you can actually spot some history in there. And if you don’t know much about Nigeria, this can be one way to learn something about that country. Nigeria is personally very close to me. A great fictional history preview. I highly recommend this book to everyone! 

I strongly lived with this book as I was reading it, and that is a sign of an awesome book.

My Dear December, it’s soon going to be Christmas. Let us praise; our savior has born once again! And soon this wonderful year has come to and end.

You take me where I’ve never been
You make my heart go ting-a-ling-a-ling

HmusicK


Life Is A Competition

Work harder. Study harder. Everything’s being tighten up in these days. It’s like you have to have strength to do more and more, when in fact people haven’t gotten any stronger over time.  We can’t do more than we are capable of, but working and school life don’t seem to accept this. Why does it have to be this way?

The world is so hectic in these days. The news spread in matter of seconds and knowledge is one click away. I’m in the second grade of high school now and when I look at the third graders (third year is the final year) I just shake my head. Most of the time they seem very passive, tired and exhausted. Only a quarter of students go to University straight after high school. The others either have a gap year or they didn’t get into any school. I have a  few friends who have had a gap year, and they have told me that they just want to rest and maybe work and get some money. A gap year can extend to many years, because high school sucks all the energy.

Why is it that, when you get older, everything around you tightens up a notch? Is it because they want to prepare for the working life? Or is it because they want the best for you? Is it because of the responsibility you have to learn to carry?

Now you may think that she is just lazy and that she just doesn’t want to grow up. Well, it’s not true. I actually think it is important to take responsibility over your school work. But I don’t think it is right to squeeze everyone like this, and just to see who will survive. What do we learn about this all though: Life is a competition.

Tuesday November, 29th: this semester’s second exam week is over and I have only this afternoon and evening to breathe. In other countries people have like one-week holiday after exams, but No Not in Finland.

Wednesday November, 30th: new period (3.) starts.

BTW, Christmas is almost here. I don’t even see it coming. I was like huh, what Xmas? No snow, yet. Happy run up to Xmas!

Happy (still not quite)
Loved (love me a little bit more)
Appreciated (make me feel special)
Alive (hanging on)
Worthy (making a difference)
Beautiful (if genes always followed the plan I could be the last blonde)
Funny (I guess you were forced into appreciating my jokes)

I’m everything I am because you loved me

HmusicK


The Song of the day


Helsinki, Africa And Art

Leaves touch the ground
There’s no singing
Just the wind blowing
As we move on
To the colder times
To the darker day and night

Poem by HmusicK

Yesterday I was visiting Helsinki with two of my friends. We went to see an art exhibition called ARS 11 – Changes your perception of Africa and contemporary art (and went shopping too). I have seen that exhibition once before but I wanted to see it again and take pictures so that I could share my experience with you. I also really like the exhibition. It’s awesome though. (This post is going to have many pictures :) I’ll let the pictures do the talking.)

Many Nigerian artists had work of arts in ARS 11

These next photographs were buy this guy. There was a timeline of history of Nigeria.

The outcome

University of Ibadan

Fashion

Head tire

White wedding

Traditional wedding

This reminds me I’d like to have both weddings too.

Congo

Something different

More information about the exhibition is here, here and here. I HAVE MORE PICTURES ON FLICKR.

I didn’t add all the pictures here but I chose these for this post. Sorry for the quality though. My camera is not the best with photographs and the light on the exhibition was challenging. Hope you still enjoyed the pictures. The exhibition was very big so I just can’t show it all. Wish I could.

Anyway, this exhibition was awesome and I’m happy we have these here. This is really new, because people here don’t really know about Africa. We know about the history, but the present situation is misty.

The winter’s coming here. It’s getting colder each day. Darker too.

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me

I’m fine. My life’s just school, school and school. Occasionally about Africa and Nigeria too. :p

HmusicK

The Song of the day


Blogger Or Not?

Thoughts about blogging

Pienen pieni pulma/Tiny little dilemma came to my mind while I was talking to a friend about our specialty areas on the internet. She is into drawing and cartoons and she knows those online communities well. How people act, what are their “profession” words and what seems to be the “norm” around there. And my own area is blogging and writing blog posts. I know the platforms and how these things work. But… THEN! I don’t even follow many blogs at all. I don’t comment much on other blogs. I’m not an active fan of anyone’s blog. I don’t read many blogs. This brings some questions in my mind: Am I a good blogger even though I don’t know other bloggers so well? Can I claim to be a blogger? Can a blogger be just someone who posts once in a while or do I need to be a “professional”?

—> This is what I came up with:    

Following many blogs and bloggers can be both positive and negative. The positive part is that you can have an inspiration, tips to make your posts more interesting, tips on how to change your page for even better and get to know many people who you have something in common with. Share your ideas and discus on things. But you can feel pressure to change your ways just because of others. For example many Finnish bloggers have a fashion blog where they take pictures of their outfits. Make up and dressing tips are very popular. So to be popular you might have to take a lot of pictures of yourself with vintage clothes and high heels.

I feel that bloggers are not dependent on each other. Everyone has their own area which they have specialized in. For instance Bigbrovar has a technology blog where he shares his tips on issues with computers and programs. There are many bloggers though whose blogs are not particularly about one subject but more or less about their lives and what they feel on telling about in that specific moment. I don’t have to know any blogger to start blogging, because this is a very free area of writing and broadcasting. But knowing few bloggers have helped me, because they have inspired and encouraged me to write and continue blogging.

I’m a blogger. Though in my opinion if you have a blog but you never update it or have like maybe more like 1 year break that is when it is not that big hobby for you and I wouldn’t call you a blogger. I’m a blogger, because it is my hobby and it is what I do regularly.

Professional in blogging? Some may say that those who have a fashion blog and have amazing pictures and fancy clothes are the professional bloggers. But in my opinion that is not the case. I’m not sure if a professional in blogging even exist. There is not a pro now and there will be no pro in the future. Blogging is a form of art in most cases and I don’t think artists can be pros. They can be very talented in what they do but there is no definition of a real pro.

Tips on how to follow this blog easier


1. Type in address http://hmusick.wordpress.com

2. Type your email address (if you’re logged in wordpress.com it will show a little bit diff) to the section and click subscribe. You will get a confirmation to your email and when you click it you have started to follow my blog. You will get an email every time I blog something new. And this does not cost anything! :D

3. You can like HmusicK on Facebook!

So yup! So that this post won’t seem so dry I would write some random poems and lyrics to the end. :)

Suddenly I know what it’s about
Thoughts come in, and words come out
Suddenly I’m not killing time
It’s all over now

You get me
You get me

Like a beautiful song
You heard a million times
Like the rainbows end
You can never find

You get me
You get me

Seal – You Get Me Feat. Anna Eriksson

That one face in your mind
Written in your soul
Carved to the wall of your heart

The smile that brightens your day
The laugh that makes your world spinning
The person who gives you the butterflies

The love which can make your life worth living

A Poem by HmusicK

I’m amazed that I was inspired to write twice this week! :) And to the end I want to add that there are just too many awesome songs to show here so I have two playlists on YouTube: Jams and New videos!

And I’m a little bit lost without you

Have a great weekend and rest of the month! :) Hyvää viikonloppua ja loppukuuta! :)

HmusicK

So cute. :) The song of the day


Environment Action Days in Karjaa

Moi lukijat! Last week I had a one-week holiday. I was mostly at home relaxing and doing nothing but last weekend I was in Karjaa, Finland. The event was one weekend environment action days (Ympäristötoimintapäivät). Everything was in two languages: Finnish and Swedish. We had workshops and my workshop was called: “No decisions about us without us”. We talked about climate change and how young people in Finland can influence on climate things.

I learnt so much new stuff. For example that first time when climate change was discovered and announced in UN was in 1970. And still it has just gotten worse since. We are making agreements on climate worldwide though which is good. And there are ways for young people to influence on these questions. I could blog about this later in separate post because I don’t have the material yet. =) We ate vegetarian food there and no meat. That was interesting. The camp/workshop was nice change for a while and I can maybe go next year too. I got at least one new friend I could keep contact with in the future too. :)

I’ll let the pictures talk:

FUTURE NOW!

Lärkkulla

The place was actually very beautiful. I would go there for a holiday if I could. The area is actually fully Swedish. As in everything is in Swedish. That surprised me. It’s nice to see the reasons why all Finns study Swedish at school. In Tampere there are no “Finnish Swedes” (I don’t know how they’re called officially in English).

Our ideas on how to influence

Our ideas on how to tell everyone about climate change


Now I’m back to school and being busy again. I believe that the workshop experience has changed my view of the world. I now think more about the things that happen right now for example factory farming, climate change and business world. My choices can make a difference and I will definitely start think about what I buy because I want to save our woods.

The world was destroyed
It became dry too cold too hot
The land disappeared and the streams changed its way
Left them suffering
The fault was in centuries, selfish bastards
New century was brought to the wasted world
To Tackle the sins of the previous
No future, No Stopping, Too late

- Let’s Stop Climate Change. Turn off the lights. Don’t buy it. Let’s Give The Next Generation A Chance to Enjoy Too.

Turn you upside down, don’t want to waste it

HmusicK

A song of the Day


Life is… Songs, Movies And Love

Elämä on ihanaa, kun sen oikein oivaltaa, ja kun lentää siivin valkein kuin joutsen

Good Evening! I’m on this creative writing course at school so it’s not all so bad I guess. Otherwise I’m at school from 8 AM to 3.45 PM (8.00-15.45) everyday except on Friday 8 AM to 2.15 PM (8.00-14.15). That means I’m at school for most of the day and when I get home I have a pile of homework but all I do is just surf on the internet and can’t focus on anything. Well I actually do the homework the best way I can and I’m able to. I have hardly 4 hours time for myself  before I go to bed. It means I have zero social life and I’m tired as hell. In the weekends (this was my first weekend though) I just take it easy and I’m being lazy.

My first exam week’s results came out this Friday and I’m happy for them. They went pretty fine in my opinion so one thing less to worry about anyway.

In this period I have English (2 courses), Creative Writing, Social Studies, History, Maths and Geography. Which means 7 courses in total and about 5 exams. Well I will be fine anyway and I’m not like the laziest student in my school…

Alku aina hankalaa, lopussa kiitos seisoo.

I’ve been going to church every Sunday now. Searching my faith…

I’ve been pretty bored with my playlist on Media Monkey that I asked Saana (thanks a lot!) to help me with updating my music. So when I opened Facebook that one morning I found about 50 songs on my inbox. I’m not trough them all yet but many of them have been really great songs like: 3 Doors Down – When You’re YoungKate Voegele – You Can’t Break a Broken Heart and Pixie Lott – Broken Arrow. She is featuring my post, again! :D

Movie: Why Did I Get Married Too? (2010)

I watched Why Did I Get Married Too? again this weekend. It’s a second part to movie Why Did I get Married? (2007) which I haven’t seen yet.

Gathered together in the Bahamas for their annual one-week reunion, four close couples eagerly reconnect, sharing news about their lives and relationships. But their intimate week in paradise is disrupted by the unexpected arrival of Sheila’s (Jill Scott) ex-husband, Mike (Richard T. Jones), who hopes to break up her new marriage with Troy (Lamman Rucker) and win her back.

The others soon realize they too are not immune to the challenges of commitment and fidelity. Angela (Tasha Smith) doesn’t believe her husband, Marcus (Michael Jai White), can be faithful now that he’s a celebrity television newscaster. Dianne (Sharon Leal) and Terry’s (Tyler Perry) relationship is feeling the strain of raising children. And Patricia (Janet Jackson), a successful self-help psychologist, must finally reveal the deep flaws in her seemingly perfect marriage to Gavin (Malik Yoba).

With their relationships hanging in the balance when they return home, each couple must choose between blame and forgiveness, doubt and faith, with life-altering consequences. (Source: YouTube)

I love that movie a lot. It makes me cry and it’s so touching. I think specially Janet Jackson does a very good job in this movie. This movie is totally underrated! At the moment one of my favorite ones. And this movie is not about happy endings. This actually has real message in it and this movie means something. Why Did I Get Married Too? is about real issues you can face in relationship and in marriage.  Not like any other Hollywood movie.

I recommend it to everyone! So please watch it if you can. :)

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I’ll be miserable at best
Mayday Parade – Miserable At Best

Täällä Pohjantähden alla, korkeimmalla kukkulalla,
Katson kauas kaukaisuuteen, tulet uniin uudestaan.
Täällä Pohjantähden alla taivas täyttyy purppuralla,
Siitä suojakseni peiton minä itselleni saan.

Ja alla Pohjantähden minä tulen, minä lähden
Ja vain Pohjantähden nähden itken vuokses kyyneleen.

Täällä Pohjantähden alla murheita on laulajalla,
Täällä kuu kuumottava on myös alakuloinen.
Täällä Pohjantähden alla hiipii sieluun asti halla
Ja vain tunteet tappamalla, rikki repii sydämen.

We will make it, honey.

I love all these songs and I think Täällä Pohjantähden alla is the most beautiful Finnish song.
Hope you enjoyed my post!
Love and strength,
HmusicK


The Song of the day

And to the end I want to express my worry for my mother tongue Finnish. Even though I blog in English I don’t think my Finnish has yet gotten this bad:


Random September Day

Hi readers! The most stressing time at school is here now. I have my first exam week already and the first period is almost behind me. The time truly flies! Which means 7 periods left. High school is sooo fast period of time. Still you can find the best friends from there! And those friendships are for life. I’ve never had so many great friends before high school.

Random: Here is one of the coolest clothes and songs ever: K. Michelle – Can’t Do This. Click the picture!

I want that chain jacket so bad! :D

In The Dark

I have had a lot of health issues lately, but I’m not going to bore you with telling about them. Just trying to get better. I’m actually very happy and me + ♥, we are so special. We are so strong together.

I’ve actually been exploring great post on my blog! I’m not telling this to brag about myself or sound self-righteous but my blog posts are an excellent way to recall what has happened in my life and what amazing things I have been able to get out of me. One of the best examples is my post about my hearing aids: DO YOU HEAR ME?

Now I would like to give credit to my wonderful class mate Saana who is such an inspiration herself. She knows many languages and she actually writes books and I mean real books with hundreds of pages. She inspired me to write even though I was in the middle of reading for my exams and tired. She actually sent me links to her favorite songs and explained me well why those artists were her favorites. It was so touching and inspiring. Here is one of the songs which really touched me:

Here is a poem in Swedish which I translated into English. This one was on my Swedish book… How surprising.

När jag föds är jag svart
När jag fryser är jag svart
När jag är varm är jag svart
När jag är sjuk är jag svart
När jag dör är jag svart

När du föds är du skär
När du fryser är du blå
När du är varm är du röd
När du är sjuk är du grön
När du dör är du lila

Och du kallar mig färgad!

Ökänd

When I was born I was black
When I freeze I’m black
When I’m warm I’m black
When I’m sick I’m black
When I die I’m black 

When you were born you were pink
When you freeze you are blue
When you’re warm you’re red
When you’re sick you’re green
When you die you’re purple 

And you call me coloured!

Unknown

This post was random but this is how happy and random I feel today. Till next time! Have a lovely week ahead! ♥

I love you,
HmusicK

The song of the day. I love K. Michelle. (Not how I feel though :))


Stay And Say Yes

There were two amazing songs I just heard yesterday. The music videos are amazing specially in YES by Musiq Soulchild. It is about breast cancer and the video just represents the pain. It moved me to tears. Fight against breast cancer is so important because it is so in common. The song is dedicated to all loved ones who are in the fight against breast cancer. So beautiful. The other song is Tyrese’s STAY which is amazing and Tyrese can truly sing. I love him.

Musiq Soulchild – Yes

Let me get this out the way
so there ain’t no complications
later on for us, no
Look, I know things don’t stay the same
People grow and seasons change, but
when it comes to love
don’t you feel like
you ever gotta worry about
my feelings changing for you all the time
’cause when I say I’m here
girl, I mean it

So when the world and the odds are against us
you won’t have to question

(the chorus:)
The answer is yes
When 2 or 3 years from now
you start having some doubts
about if this love will last
The answer is yes
I’ll still think you’re beautiful
’cause I’m more attracted to what’s inside of you
You don’t have to guess
The answer is yes

‘Cause I love you
All I care about is your happiness,
so the answer is yes

People just don’t stick around (no)
build you up and let you down, but
I’m not one of those, no (girl)
I understand that you’ve been burned (before)
Honesty is what you deserve (so much more) yea
and so that’s what I’m giving you, girl

So when the world and the odds are against us
you won’t have to question

(the chorus)

Now, if you ask
will I go (no)
when you need me most (no)
the answer is no
I’m dedicated to what we have
but will I be here
the way that I promise
I’ll say with no fear
The answer is yes

(the chorus)

Tyrese – Stay

No one ever said it’d be easy baby, yeah, woah, woah, yeah

Girl I wanna take the time and thank you
Just for putting up with me
And I’m sorry that you even had to deal with me
Even though I made you cry, I wanna make it right
Just give me some time to make it right
I go the extra mile to make you smile and
Just to make your day
I’ll go out my way I’ll do whatever it takes
Baby promise you’ll stay, stay
Stay baby, would you just
Stay, stay, baby
Stay, stay, stay, stay
Baby won’t you stay?
With me?

I know that I messed up over a thousand times
Said you wouldn’t forgive me but somehow I changed your mind
And now that we’re here, I just can’t let you go
And I got you here, baby girl I gotta let you know
I go the extra mile to make you smile and
Just to make your day
I’ll go out my way I’ll do whatever it takes
Stay baby, would you just
Stay, stay, baby
Stay, stay, stay, stay
Baby won’t you stay?
With me?
Hey, stay, stay, stay

Girl I need you in my world
I want you to always be my girl
Even though I messed up, uh I messed up
You took good care, always took care of me
Baby would you just stay
Stay, stay, stay
Stay right here
Stay, stay, stay,
Baby would you stay with me
For the past out’s working out baby
Stay, stay, stay baby
I want you to believe in me this time
This time this time, I’ma get it together
Stay, stay, what about the marriage life
You were supposed to be my wife…
I would put you through no more.

Tyrese’s back! New album is coming up and I can’t wait. I love these songs. Just wanted to share. :) Yes is what I will always feel for ♥. Stay was exactly how I felt while I was writing this post…

I love you

HmusicK


William Wilberforce – Fighting Against Slavery

I thought I should write about something historical and we had to give a speech about William Wilberforce for school. I had never heard of him before, but when I started to read about his story and history it caught my interest. I decided I could do something different to my blog this time and now I’m writing a short introduction of him. I respect him a lot and he accomplished great things. 


British William Wilberforce (24 August 1759 – 29 July 1833) was born in Hull and he was one of The Great Britain’s social reformers. He started to be active in Politics at a young age in Yorkshire. In 1785, he became an Evangelical Christian and changed his lifestyle completely. He came in contact with anti-slave-trade activists and was soon interested in human rights and abolition of the slavery. He became one of the leaders of abolitionists and started campaigning against slavery in Parliament.

Religion, morality and education were important to him and he was a member of many various campaigns for the human and animal rights. He was often abroad fighting for the right of the slaves in the colonies for example Sierra Leone and India. He was very concerned about the terrible conditions the slaves were kept and transported.

His and other activists’ work paid off in Slave Trade Act 1807, but still it didn’t free those who were already slaves. It was not until 1833 when all the slaves in the British Empire were given freedom. Wilberforce died only three days after hearing this great passage.

William Wilberforce is buried in Westminster Abbey, close to his friend William Pitt who has been the Prime minister of the United Kingdom. He also has a Monument in Hull College. Wilberforce is remembered as a humanitarian reformer and a devoted Christian who was brave to step up for the human rights.

William Wilberforce

  • Was born on 24th August in 1759 in Hull and died on 29th July in 1833 in London
  • žBritish Politician
  • žThe member of Parliament for Yorkshire (1784–1812)
  • The leader of the movement to abolish the slave trade

Life work

  • He became an Evangelical Christian 1785
  • žValues: religion, morality and education, human and animal rights
  • He campaigned over 20 years in Parliament for the abolition of slavery
  • Fought for children’s rights and for the general justice

Achievements

  • Due to his active campaigning the slave trade was finally denied in 1807 but this did not free those who were already slaves: Slave Trade Act 1807
  • žNot until 1833 (Wilberforce died in the same year) all the slaves in British empire were given freedom: Slavery Abolition Act 1833 

Sources

  1. BBC History
  2. Wikipedia
  3. Biography Online
  4. William Pitt

Amazing Grace

A Film called Amazing Grace was published in 2006 and it is based on the life of Wilberforce and his struggle to give the slaves freedom. I haven’t seen it, but I definitely will. And the song Amazing Grace is connected to the time when there were slaves. Wilberforce has actually met John Newton who was a captain of a slave ship before he became a born again Christian. He wrote the song and its melody is one of the negro’s spirituals. Very touching song. I have actually posted the song earlier.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

HmusicK

The trailer of the movie

PS. God made all of us EQUAL.


20 Facts And More

Hey You! Yeah, it’s your girl HmusicK

Still looking healthy (my shirt is the same color than my blog lol :D)

My English teacher praised my wedding speech (we had to write a wedding speech). She thought it was excellent and I’m happy she finally said something very positive and it brought a bright smile on my face. I like her still. She just doesn’t know how to properly address if the student gives the wrong answer. She basically laughs at you if you didn’t know it right. Remember this is fiction :) :

Dear friends and relatives!

 I remember the face of Scarlett that day. She had just been proposed by her boyfriend of three years. Her eyes were shining like little stars and she had the biggest smile. She was truly in love. They are truly in love. 

Now, today she is the sunshine. Joe completes her and makes her happy. I couldn’t be happier for them. Scarlett is a dear friend of mine and I’m honored to be her made of honor. Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Galloway. I hope you will have many happy and blessed years to come!

I like to update my current likes and dislikes. For example when I was little we had these friend books where there were always those favorite actor/music/TV-series questions. I did them again after years to see how my likes had changed over the years. I also like to write facts and answer funny questions because I find them very interesting to read. They tell a lot about the person.

20 Facts About Me

  1. I don’t wear make up because I’m too busy in the mornings. Why? I’m on computer…
  2. I don’t feel pressured by the way I look.
  3. I think I’m pretty but I’m not egoistic.
  4. If I’m not enough for you for who I am, then fine. I’m not changing.
  5. I can’t stand racism.
  6. My future husband won’t be a Finn.
  7. My closest friends know I can be crazy and give myself fully to anything but if I don’t know the person well, I don’t show that side of me.
  8. I want to hug a lot but I’m afraid to show it.
  9. I’m afraid I will never be close with my brother.
  10. Sometimes I’m too open.
  11. I love people who truly care about what I say.
  12. I’m going to have children young, even though some of my friends say I’m not a family person (maybe I have grown to be).
  13. My soul is African.
  14. I cry. A lot. (but not in funerals)
  15. I would want my eyes to be more blue.
  16. I don’t have a TV.
  17. I’m addicted to love books. I love happy endings. (movies too)
  18. I feel like I’m older than I actually am and sometimes I’m smartass and pretend to know everything (sorry).
  19. My parents are worried if I can take care of my future husband… :p I suck at cleaning and such=making food. Well I guess he’ll help me.
  20. Blogging is a part of my past, present and future.

We have a new printer!! I love it. Colors <3

What’s up? Just school. Busy busy busy and sick too. Just trying to get better and blog more. :)

I need some love like I’ve never needed love before
Wanna make love to ya baby
I had a little love, now I’m back for more
Wanna make love to ya baby
Set your spirit free, it’s the only way to be
Be a little bit wiser baby, put it on, put it on
’cause tonight is the night when 2 become 1

HmusicK

Song of the day


Books And Fancy Words

I admit I am inspired by my English book. Yes, my course number four study English book. I love the flow of the words in the chapters. Of course the words are getting more and more difficult but they’re fascinating actually. One of my favorite phrases in chapter three is: “It’s a struggle that touches each and every one of us”. (From the one of the first speeches of Barack Obama)

I also learnt many new words: “sense of social justice, servitude, fairness and injustice” are my favorite words, not because of their meaning though. Chapter three is about Barack Obama and Martin Luther King and their famous speeches. We would also talk about important things such as Apartheid and discrimination. “Change is gonna come”, “Change has come to America”and “I have a dream” are all famous phrases of these speeches.

I just read a genius book for my Finnish course at school. George Orwell’s Animal Farm (1945) is an awesome description of abusing authority. The Animals of an English farm start a revolution and drive away the humans who had been ruling over them. The equality rules in the farm until the pigs are shown out to be more clever than the others. They take the lead and are not really better than the previous landlords. This “light” story represents the personal disappointment of George Orwell who was passionate to have equality in the world. I recommend this book to everyone, because it is remarkable (not even a long one) piece of writing.

Now I’m starting to read second book for my Finnish course and it’s called ‘Before I Die’ by Jenny Downham. It’s about a sixteen-year-old girl who has an incurable leukemia who makes a list of things she wants to experience before she dies. Even though she is dying soon she feels more alive than she ever did. Sounds very interesting and I will dig into it very soon. I think they have made a movie of this too.

Now I’m back to my busy life again. Writing again soon. ;)

I stand beside you trough the years
You only cry those happy tears

HmusicK

Love this song from the nineties. :)


Bittersweet Comeback

Hey all! I’ve been busy since I got back to school 10th of August. Seven work days and one weekend later I realized that growing up from a freshman to a sophomore isn’t going to be painless. As I had the first lesson of every course I had in this period (only five of them) my face just went from :D to O_O.

Not having any close friend on my courses, hardly seeing them on breaks and lunch I felt so alone and numb. I was moody for several days. I also heard some unexpected news at a wrong time. I overreacted and started hysterically crying at school. One of the worst days ever.

My ♥ tried to cheer me up as well as he could (he is super good at it) and I felt glad he was there but still so sad because of the situation. I am so happy I have him though, without him I would be so down. After sweet words and many days I started to feel a little better thanks to him. My mood still keeps tricking me though.

I feel like I have been at school for two months, not one week. I try not to get to a stage of depression as I gasp air when I look at all what I have to do. Which guides me to the bottom of this issue: Why are the students in high school so depressed and tired in Finland?

When I try to talk about this to my friends abroad they swear their schools are way tougher than ours: “You live in Finland. That can’t be true. Your country is one of the richest in the world and best school system too.” Yes, our comprehensive school is the best. Not high school.

My friends at the same school do understand. They get straight tens (best grade) at school but whine everyday about being depressed and tired. Well not all of them (like me) get the best grades but try to hang on a very strict schedule which don’t allow you to be sick at all. If you are sick for one or two days you will already be behind and catching up is hard. (I learnt this last year on my first period.)

Not that I have any experience of schools outside Finland I feel that our high school (lukio in Finnish) is the toughest without a doubt. Even our teachers say so.

Some basic Facts of Finnish Upper secondary school:

  • lasts three to four years
  • in order to graduate you have to pass 75 courses, 47 or 51 compulsory courses depending the difficulty of the Maths you choose
  • there will be nationally graded matriculation examination (at least in four subjects)
  • More info in Wikipedia

I will be having a huge exam on six subjects Finnish (compulsory), English (compulsory), German, Swedish (compulsory), Maths (compulsory) and history = a crazy amount of work and pushing.

After this pain is over we have to work our ass off to get to university and read to the entrance exams which are hard too because our grades in high schools mean almost nothing. Only our matriculation examinations have a little say which means we basically fought for nothing (we are only just wiser I guess).

After 3 years of pushing and long days… we have no free time and even though you try to take it all relaxed you realize how tired you are. Really? Is this really necessary? Even though I try to understand the minds of people who came up with this program I really think they have messed up and real bad.

Too many gives up and stop going to school just because they’re tired and depressed. All they would want is to have some more human education and not expect them to work like robots in a factory. If you ask me why I am criticizing Finnish school so hard I would reply “because there is too much lost potential out there”. I believe that so so many people who choose to go to lukio try hard to achieve their goals and that one fail can cause so much trouble to you that you almost give up hope.

All those I still have something positive to share: You can make it. Just try your best and when it feels like it is going down don’t worry about it just try to be strong and seek for help. Don’t stay at home and let yourself fade away. When I feel like not getting up from bed I think about all the good things in my life: my ♥, family and friends.

The life of an upper secondary student is all not dancing with roses but I believe we can learn many things out of this. In life you can learn from everything… We have to take time to explore and realize what is wrong in ourselves before it gets worse.

Hold on
Be strong
It’s gonna be a long night
Keep your head up
Trust me I know
Tomorrow is going to be another day

Love you honey. Without you I would not have made it. Happier than ever. :) <3

HmusicK


August Sweet August

I should probably tell you about my last Thursday though. It was the biggest Udoka event of the year. There were djembes, feathers, sticks, Africans, mixed kids (how cute), fire and of course dancing (lots of it). It was amazing. One and half hour gig and the audience wanted more. I danced 3 dances and we had fire shows. I might download videos of it to YouTube.

On Friday after the gig I just relaxed at home and was just so tired.

On Saturday I was out with my school friends who I haven’t seen in a while. They were awesome. And somehow… I ended up to express my mind to Slut Walk with my friend. Yes, you read it right. Slut Walk. Those events I never thought I would be a part of. But well I thought it would be fun and for a good thing. I wasn’t dressing (I didn’t know I was going there) anything revealing. My first manifestation ever. Got a good feeling after it because it felt like I did something right.

Today, I’ve been hanging out with ♥ and it has been great…. except my throat got sore Saturday night and it got worse in the morning. I wasn’t dressing properly and it was cold outside plus not so great sleep. Now my throat is better and I pray that it is not going to get worse.

August sweet August. Only two days before I’m back to school officially. On the 10th of August I am going to step up of the stairs to the building I have a love-hate relationship with at 10 AM on Wednesday morning. As I go I will wave goodbyes to the summer which was the fastest summer ever. The autumn wind will carefully touch my face on the door when I’m reaching to open it. There are going to be many of other students rushing in so I have to speed up my last step. As I step to the hallway I take a deep breath and say to myself  “you can do this, Hanna-Kaisa”.

Yes, this is my second year. Also everybody says it is also the toughest year. Well, when I look at my 5 periods I can only agree. The game is over guys. No, not quite. It will be fine and I will do well. I’m going to do my best. I’m waiting to see my friends everyday and enjoying lunch together and having fun too. Well, when we are not sweating with essays, that is.

Can we make wishes out of airplanes like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now.

HmusicK


For The Times

For the times
When I did not know
That life could be this good
I’m going to live like there was only today
And this moment
Yesterday is just another page in my book
Gone chance to change things
Let’s hope I can make it better today
Make up for the rainy day

A poem for the rainy day

Sometimes I feel like this next song when I relate with people who are past in my life. How many ridiculous fights have ended friendships? Too many. Guess they never were worth it.

Hey there stranger, how you been?
Feels like I’m standing on the outside looking in
At the mess we left behind
And it’s a long way to fall
I gave you everything I had
I gave it all
And then my heart was on the line

I can’t hate you
Any longer
I know I’m going to miss you
I’ll forget it and let it go

Say hello to goodbye, cause it’s gone forever

(Shontelle – Say Hello To Goodbye)

Today was my last day at work. It was sad to leave at work but not because of work itself but great coworkers. They’re so sweet and we have great jokes. Inside jokes are the best. Now I have my mini holiday before school starts. 1 and half weeks time to breathe and then we GO. And it is gonna be a long year but I’ll be positive and now I know what to expect and I will take care of myself so that I won’t stress myself out.

I’ve been watching the Harry Potter movies in a row. I have watched the first five movies now. They’re fun movies though. The best: Harry’s kiss. Lol.

I never want to loose you. Tonight IT is just you and me.

HmusicK

The song of the Day


Music Tuesday

This is my music Tuesday!

Written in the stars, a million miles away
A message to the main oh
Season come and go but I will never change

This music video and song touched me recently. The song encourages you to follow your own bath and make it clear to people. The beat of the song and the chorus are catchy and the music video is not mainstream so that is a plus.

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

This song makes me smile. I so would wanna use that wish. I don’t know B.o.B really is a good rapper but at least he is not the worst I’ve listened to.

From here on out
I’ll be your commander
No fear no doubt
I’ll provide the answer
Right now I command you to dance
I’ll be your commander
Right now I command you to dance
I’ll be your commander

This is one of my favorite dancing songs and it is also funny. I got to know recently that Kelly has fake boobs… I have to say I would have never known. They fit her great but personally I don’t really appreciate boob surgeries. I believe that God has meant us the way we are and it is not good to change that (have surgeries because we get old for example).

I have just 8 days work left. School with start soon and it is not bothering me too much. Next year is going to be though but I will make it. Hope you like the songs!
Love,
HmusicK

My heart is in peace when yours is.

Which picture do you like the most?


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