Wow. Hi. It has been FOREVER. As if you didn’t already know that? I like to write good quality posts and not just some random doodles so maybe that’s why I haven’t been able to write in a long time. In a way writing blog posts isn’t that stressful, but finding time and inspiration are the ones that have been missing in my life. I just have too much school work and writing sometimes reminds me of that. Anyway, I wouldn’t say I’m back, even though maybe some of you are like yay! she’s here or well maybe not. :D But at least I’m writing some.
Lately, there have been like so many changes in my life. And many of them are not because of me. I mean mostly it’s about people coming and going. People change and you find new sides of them and no matter how long you’ve known them you’ll always find something more that either puts you off or on. When you have known one person for a long time and you trust them, the change can really shock you. I’m starting to learn that in the hard way.
I bounce back and forth with my emotions trying to figure out what I want to do with those people. Some of them make their decisions by themselves and leave me an easy choice. I struggle with those who claim they want to stay in my life yet they’ve changed or become strangers. Do I want to have them in my life? Will they ever understand me and my point of view? Is it over? Will I be able to forgive what they did?
You know sometimes IT IS NOT MY FAULT. SERIOUSLY. I mean there are things I have little influence on and I can’t decide what happens, yet people tend to blame it on me if I accuse them of something. People say things always have two sides, but I think it is not always true.
An example: loyalty, your best friend is keeping contact with a guy or girl who hurt you really bad (so bad that you can’t be friends anymore) and who she/he has known for a lot less time than you. They’re like so happy together and you just watch close. Doesn’t that make you like: Huh??! And then when you confront her/him that “hey, I don’t like you talking to him/her, I hope you would understand that it hurts me that you’re not on my side and you seem to accept what he/she did to me”, they blame it on you saying: “why do you want to break our friendship? It is your fault that we are in this mess, because you started this fight.”
I just don’t accept it! It is just unforgettable (I don’t know about unforgivable though). Someone, who is supposed to be like a family member to you, refuses to be on your side? I don’t know maybe it should end right there, because loyalty and trust are too important. I’m not perfect, but what the hell have I done wrong in that? Just trying to get people to understand, that’s all.
In other related news
I’m on the 3rd grade! Yay! :D High school is soon over :o time goes so fast.
Voisin olla kuin muut
Punastuu kun sä tuut
Nuolla sun viskaamat luut
Mut se ei kiinnosta mua
Sä olet vain katse jota mä hain
Nyt mä meen
PS. I’m so in love with Pistepiste’s music! :D He’s a great new artist!!
Kun sä et oo mun nainen <3